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This essay talks about grieving, mourning, and love.

How do those ideas relate? How have I learned to define those words to be meaningful? What have I learned about doing those properly, deeply and effectively?

My essays about appropriate masculinity and self-improvement are written primarily for my sons. So I acknowledge that what they discuss can be beneficial to both men and women, but may use male pronouns inclusively.

Grieving link to here link to tables of contents

A Word for a Wound

Tears are the silent language of grief.
    - Voltaire

cartoon coyote leaves a hole in a wall

Grieving is about loss and pain. A person is gone and there is a hole in our psyche. It can feel similar to how the cartoon Coyote leaves a hole shaped like his outline when he goes through a wall.

It usually feels like the person was ripped from our lives suddenly and violently, even if his or her health was poor and death unsurprising. There is pain from the wounding, as well as the hole-shaped wound.

Animals can grieve. When two dogs are best friends for many years, when one dies the other grieves.

Exploring the Wound

Then he told Thomas, "Reach out your finger here, and look at my hands. Take your hand, and thrust it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."
    - John 20:27

Grieving is also about healing as best we can, during and despite the continued loss and pain.